How I’ve Changed After Becoming A Mom—The Letter I Wish I Could Have Written Myself A Year Ago

My child is a year old today.

It’s been a wonderful, crazy, lovely, and sometimes difficult and lonely ride this last year through Mexico, the U.S., New Zealand, Tahiti, New Caledonia, Vanuatu, and Australia.

The most amazing journey that has occurred, though, is not the distances covered by land but rather the changes that have happened in my heart since having a child.

Everyone told me that

“Everything Changes When You Have a Baby…”


That statement used to frighten and annoy me to no end, since I was very happy the way I was and didn’t feel strongly that I needed a child to be fulfilled.

I was nomadic and married to the man of my dreams. We had a six figure income and could live and do anything we wanted. We had our jive, our thing, our two-of-us-against-the-world three year jaunt around the world, 25 countries under our belts.


It was pretty dang awesome.

Therefore, I was afraid that having a child would be a NEGATIVE change.

Life is changed now, no question.

This is the letter I would have written to myself, a year ago before having my baby.


Dear Pregnant Kalli,

Here are the changes you can expect with Ryder… and they aren’t the ones you’re expecting.

You will be more domestic. You and your husband will have more traditional roles. And you will both like it



Since I was starting at almost zero domesticity having lived almost our whole marriage out of suitcases I had nowhere to go but up. I actually spend time cleaning every day because we live in long term apartments now and less out of hotels with housekeepers. I’m learning how to cook and I’m learning what Jacob likes to eat. I watch a child, all day. This is very different than before, but the change to more traditional roles– it’s been good for us. It’s made us more of a partnership than ever.

You will start liking kids more in general


Before I was rather disinterested in anyone younger than…20. I used to be a kid person…when I was a kid. Then I grew up and got grouchy, I guess. I was even starting to get, like, annoyed with them. I didn’t want to be that kind of snippy adult, but the older I got, the less connected to the younger generation I felt.  And now that I have my own baby, I am much fonder of other babies too, although I’m still not really a baby person.

Despite your anxious pregnancy, you will have a happy baby, and you will not be an anxious mom.

looking at belly

Pregnancy feels like it lasts forever, but it does end, eventually. Thank goodness.

You will laugh more. Much more


My kid is goofy.

Travel will be more meaningful, and less about you.


I now take pictures of someone besides myself all day. It’s a refreshing change.

You will be less cynical


I had seen so much of the world and I had lost a lot of my idealism. I had started to wonder if I had gained the whole world to lose my own soul. Having a baby reignited my faith that the world is indeed a wonderful place, if people like my little boy are the future.

You will get out and about a little less than before, and prioritize sleep a little more.


-But you will still get to do the important things and see the things you want to see.-

You will have a partner in crime and spend less time exploring alone. In fact, you will spend almost no time exploring alone.  But that’s okay. Life is better shared.


Ryder celebrated Anzac Day with me.


You will love your baby so much. You will love him more than traveling. And you would give up traveling to be his mom. Fortunately for you, you don’t have to. You can have both. And it’s really, really fun to have both.


So Kalli, don’t you worry. Yes, travel as a couple was amazing.

But travel with your son and your husband is BETTER!

Sometimes, change is a good thing. Haven’t you learned that from your nomadic lifestyle yet?

The best is yet to be,

Your future self

Kalli Hiller

Article by Kalli Hiller

Kalli Hiller is a voluntary vagabond who, with her husband Jacob, has traveled full time for the last eight years.

Kalli has written 372 awesome articles for us.

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